When I meet you I had no idea I had been missing you all my life. I had, but now I have you and I hope I never have to go one day missing you again.
My Girlfriends make me a better person. I am better for knowing you all. Had I never meet you, I would be fucked now. Thank you for letting me not be fucked.
Best Friends are your constant companions when you are young. When you get older, you see them less. They are the reason I have an email account (obviously it's not for all those recruiters trying to higher me to work for them). When I see them, it is like I forgot someone could make me laugh my ass off, literally. I saw them last weekend and now I have no ass.
Sometimes it's hard to remember that life really isn't that bad. Sometimes I think, wtf, I have $4 in the bank, I live with my mother, I'm in debt $70,000 for a degree that will never make me that much and my job will never get me anywhere. I should probably start thinking - OK girl, you really are fucked, deal with it. Now what?
I am lucky though. In love that is. And what the hell does that bring you? Surely not prestige or money, which is of course what my job brings me already. So what the hell am I complaining about? Ha. But no really, I have some things. They know who they are and they know that it is them that makes me the happiest.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
WTF
Today my mangina showed me this video clip he found while playing on the Internet. Before I tell you what the video is let me just say, my life will never be the same after watching that. And also, I want those five minutes of my life back. Now.
The video was of a news clip reporting on women who can enjoy labor so much they can actually get an orgasm. Then they so graciously showed women's home videos of their "orgasmic labor." One woman seriously "came" in her water bath of a birthing room. I have never had a child and now I don't want to. I mean what are you going to say to your child? "I enjoyed having you so much, I came all over your face."
The video was of a news clip reporting on women who can enjoy labor so much they can actually get an orgasm. Then they so graciously showed women's home videos of their "orgasmic labor." One woman seriously "came" in her water bath of a birthing room. I have never had a child and now I don't want to. I mean what are you going to say to your child? "I enjoyed having you so much, I came all over your face."
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
ghost writer
I always have complete intentions of keeping this up, as if anyone ever reads it. I read it. That of course doesn't matter because I fucking write this shit. But anyways, a little about the recent changes in my life...
I had been in the application process of getting a government contract job. Something that you need a security clearance for. So for 7 months I went through the grueling task of trying to get this clearance. Including taking a lie detector test from a boy, yes a boy, who sounded and looked like a tool. But alas, I have no room to poke fun since I did not get the security clearance and this tool of a boy has a real job and a really good job at that. bastard. So after finding this awesome news out, I cried like a bitch because I had just spent the past several months not getting a job but thinking I was. A brilliant waste of time really. And then I moved on.
Now I have to get a real job. Not to say my current job isn't real, because every day it shows me how disgustingly real it is. Like when I almost get my face smashed in by a child attempting to throw a desk at me. Or when one of those children write's me a letter telling me they've seen my thongs, and they like it. gross. I consider a real job something that pays a decent amount of money. And by decent, I mean enough money to get me the fuck out of my mothers house.
I had been in the application process of getting a government contract job. Something that you need a security clearance for. So for 7 months I went through the grueling task of trying to get this clearance. Including taking a lie detector test from a boy, yes a boy, who sounded and looked like a tool. But alas, I have no room to poke fun since I did not get the security clearance and this tool of a boy has a real job and a really good job at that. bastard. So after finding this awesome news out, I cried like a bitch because I had just spent the past several months not getting a job but thinking I was. A brilliant waste of time really. And then I moved on.
Now I have to get a real job. Not to say my current job isn't real, because every day it shows me how disgustingly real it is. Like when I almost get my face smashed in by a child attempting to throw a desk at me. Or when one of those children write's me a letter telling me they've seen my thongs, and they like it. gross. I consider a real job something that pays a decent amount of money. And by decent, I mean enough money to get me the fuck out of my mothers house.
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