Oh how badly I wanted to pick her up, take her home and hold her forever.
When I pulled away from the animal hospital my shoulders were shaking and I could only help but scream. I must have looked fucking crazy. It might not make sense to anyone else but it makes perfect sense to me. This is the moment I realize I will never take my huge black lab on another walk. She will never again sleep by my side. And when coming home, driving up the driveway, I will never see her excited face with her big ears ever again. This is the worst moment of my life. You see I have never lost a pet or a human for that matter. And really it is impossible to understand how you will feel until it happens. Just so you know it is much worse than you could ever imagine.
The only thing I can be happy about is that, if dogs do go to heaven, I will see Roxie again one day. And when I see her she will be able to stand up without pain and follow me up and down stairs all damn day. That is of course, if I make it there myself.
